diff options
Diffstat (limited to 'old/published/Webmonkey/Monkey_Bites/2007/02.12.06/laptopdestruction.txt')
-rw-r--r-- | old/published/Webmonkey/Monkey_Bites/2007/02.12.06/laptopdestruction.txt | 43 |
1 files changed, 43 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/old/published/Webmonkey/Monkey_Bites/2007/02.12.06/laptopdestruction.txt b/old/published/Webmonkey/Monkey_Bites/2007/02.12.06/laptopdestruction.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..96844f6 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/published/Webmonkey/Monkey_Bites/2007/02.12.06/laptopdestruction.txt @@ -0,0 +1,43 @@ +There's been some talk 'round these parts about a series of how-to type articles and while that sounds great and all I just got back from an extended stay in Asia and I feel such a project would necessarily require a balancing counterpart -- how-not-to articles. + +This started out as an attempt to combine two broken half broken iBooks into one working iBook which my folks could use when they travel. Utilizing my training as a certified Apple repair technician I was able to successfully remove the screen and trackpad from one iBook and place them in the other to create a fulling working, good as new iBook. + +Okay that's a lie. I'm not a certified Apple technician, but I was able to convert my two half-broken iBooks into two completely broken iBooks. Read on to find out how I did it. + +A word of warning for the casual reader: What follows is a graphic depiction of carelessness, stupidity and total disregard for the structural integrity of pricey electronic equipment and human life. Sickness bags may be found in the seat back in front of you. + +I'm told there are some instructions out there on the internets about how to disassemble your iBook and replace the hard drive, cd drive etc. Some of them are supposedly quite good and helpful, but I'm not a RTFM kind of guy so screw that noise. + +Here's the Monkeybite's rule of thumb for disassembling your iBook: if you see a screw, remove it, if it isn't coming apart, apply more pressure, it's just plastic, it'll break at some point. + +Now before we get started, a word about tools. Some people would have you head to the hardware store and pick up a nice set of jewelers screwdrivers, but I recommend a regular screw driver because it is far more likely to completely strip the screws and render them useless which makes reassembly much easier -- if none of your screws work anymore, you don't have to put them back. + +There's also these handy blunt objects for prying things apart, but I find a sturdy steak knife works just as well. You may want to keep a hammer near by, just in case. If nothing else it makes spectators nervous and unlikely to offer any annoyingly helpful advice. + +Some people also recommend the use of an anti-static wrist strap, but I found it far more convenient and cheaper to discharge any accumulated static electricity on the earlobes of spectators. + +Also, lots of hardware tinkering types have a nice workbench or at the very least clear off the kitchen table. Wussies. Get on your knees. On the floor. Preferably hardwood. Ideally you shouldn't be able to stand by the time you're done, and walking should be out of the question for the better part of the weekend. + +Okay, we're ready. Remove the keyboard. Turn the iBook over and use an Allen wrench to pull out the three main screws. Pry off the little rubber feet and remove the screws hidden beneath them. + +Look over the top and bottom of the laptop and if you see a screw -- remove it. + +At some point the overall structure of the iBook should begin to weaken, now is the time to start prying at plastic. Look for any sort of grooved plastic joints, structural weaknesses, the seam between the top and bottom of the iBook is a good place to start. Jab a sharp blunt object into these creases and pry them apart, a screwdriver might work, but if not then steak knives are recommended. + +Remember, if it isn't coming apart just use more force. + +Once you've separated the top and bottom of your iBook you'll be left with a whole bunch of silly metal heat-shield-like coverings. These are held in with screws and I suppose you could unscrew them if you're a Proustian-type momma's boy, but really this stuff if no thicker than aluminum foil so I just ripped it off. If John Glenn can make it back from the moon without a heat shield then your ultra modern portable can too. + +Okay now you're staring at the guts -- a mass of circuit boards that bear an eerie resemblance to aerial views of the machine city in the Matrix. If you notice any fields of human embryos be sure not to mess them up, just because you're destroying an iBook is no reason to mess with the universe as we know it. + +Near the top of your iBook you'll find the central processing unit. Poke it it with a knife. See if any keys move or the screen changes. If you're the cautious type and you turned off your laptop and unplugged it before we started you're going to miss out on the real fun. Just off the main CPU is the logic board. poke it with a screwdriver. Try pulling off a couple of the wires that run up to the screen so that your display begins to resemble what Steve and Woz saw in their garage in the late seventies when that bad blotter stuff was making the rounds. + +Okay now you can unplug it. Unscrew and remove the CPU. I don't know why, because it's there. Stop asking so many questions. + +Now it's time to scavenge useful parts, that hard drive could go in its own enclosure so go ahead and remove it. There's a thin metal mounting frame you can optionally remove or simply force your steak knife underneath the drive and pry upward. Bonus points for remembering to detach the connection wires before inserting steak knife. + +Now would be a good time to yell "Nurse, ball-peen hammer please." Yes some things are stubborn and may necessitate more radical solutions, like that F'ing CD ROM drive which for the life of me I couldn't get out. + +Now that you've retrieved the hard drive and CPU and have a healthy collection of well-stripped phillips head screws scatter across the floor, it's time to put the thing back together. Good luck with that. + +[Note: All the the above is incredibly stupid and should not actually be done. Especially the part about plugging in the laptop and poking it with screw drivers. You could really really hurt and possibly even kill yourself doing that. Monkeybites in no way encourages, endorses or otherwise recommends that you do that, nor can we be held responsible, libel or accountable in anyway if you're dumb enough to take this post seriously.] |