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diff --git a/scratch.txt b/scratch.txt index c5a04fc..e20bf28 100644 --- a/scratch.txt +++ b/scratch.txt @@ -8,6 +8,18 @@ every essay needs a story to hang it on. And an audio/visual podcast of it. --- + +doing things for their own sake, rather than as a means to something. +Corollary: everyone worries about their productivity but it's rare I hear anyone talk about what they're producing. + + +## Clips + +--- +When a question is difficult, different attempts to answer it are bound to appear and contradict each other. -Johannes + +--- + I have found that I’m able to see much more clearly when I’m doing the least. Sometimes, the irony is, what I see more clearly becomes things I want, or perhaps need to do. Those are the least interesting moments though. an elusive “sense of fullness” we get once in a while, based on fleeting experiences of life as “fuller, richer, deeper, more worthwhile, more admirable, more what it should be.” Such moments are difficult to access, but supremely important because they give us indications that there is an objective reality, independent of ourselves, that is morally substantive in the sense that is shot through with significance. Its significance for me is no merely idiosyncratic response of my own, nor is it an artefact of some evolutionary process that tricks me into caring about things as a device for propagating the species. Rather, the felt significance of the world is an apt and appropriate response to the fact that there is something transcendent into which I fit, or must fit myself. @@ -19,7 +31,6 @@ The whole idea of "being present" has always seemed ridiculous to me. What does Being conscious is the key to seeing. By being aware of what is around us, and then noticing that awareness, we allow our vision and perception to grow. It’s very difficult to do this on a regular basis. Stillness is a life practice. At times I will catch myself unconsciously spinning my wheels, and then consciously try to center myself and observe. - Photographs are one of mankind’s most profound expressions of stillness. They allow us the ability to hold time in our hands and facilitate a merging with time that exists in no other form. --- @@ -28,8 +39,6 @@ One of the biggest problems I see with our current education system is one that Si comprehendis, non est Deus -- If you understand it is not God - augustine -dry leaves whispered, - Technology was part of the larger culture. The emphasis of the ancient world and early Christianity was ways in which technology could make a better person or bring them closer to god, temple architecture, painting techniques, etc. truth is not something we make, it is something that is already there, that we discover. Or that we are guided to by the archangels in william grey's terms. @@ -37,6 +46,15 @@ truth is not something we make, it is something that is already there, that we d Seminar method meaning the book is the lecture, you do that on your own, in your room, with the author, and then you come together in a small group and discuss. teaching via the seminar method is imperfect, you may never get to the point that you thought there was, but the questions are always your own, you are not just imbibing something pre-digested, you're wrestling with it yourself. +--- + +my greatest skill has been to want but little—so little capital it required, so little distraction from my wonted moods, I foolishly thought. While my acquaintances went unhesitatingly into trade or the professions, I contemplated this occupation as most like theirs; ranging the hills all summer to pick the berries which came in my way, and thereafter carelessly dispose of them; so, to keep the flocks of Admetus. I also dreamed that I might gather the wild herbs, or carry evergreens to such villagers as loved to be reminded of the woods, even to the city, by hay-cart loads. But I have since learned that trade curses everything it handles; and though you trade in messages from heaven, the whole curse of trade attaches to the business. + +As I preferred some things to others, and especially valued my freedom, as I could fare hard and yet succeed well, I did not wish to spend my time in earning rich carpets or other fine furniture, or delicate cookery, or a house in the Grecian or the Gothic style just yet. If there are any to whom it is no interruption to acquire these things, and who know how to use them when acquired, I relinquish to them the pursuit. Some are "industrious," and appear to love labor for its own sake, or perhaps because it keeps them out of worse mischief; to such I have at present nothing to say. Those who would not know what to do with more leisure than they now enjoy, I might advise to work twice as hard as they do—work till they pay for themselves, and get their free papers. For myself I found that the occupation of a day-laborer was the most independent of any, especially as it required only thirty or forty days in a year to support one. The laborer's day ends with the going down of the sun, and he is then free to devote himself to his chosen pursuit, independent of his labor; but his employer, who speculates from month to month, has no respite from one end of the year to the other. + + +if we will live simply and wisely; as the pursuits of the simpler nations are still the sports of the more artificial. It is not necessary that a man should earn his living by the sweat of his brow, unless he sweats easier than I do. + ## Outsourcing @@ -64,25 +82,50 @@ Maybe. Because it breeds dependency? It does. Which then leads to being dependan -doing things for their own sake, rather than as a means to something. -Corollary: everyone worries about their productivity but it's rare I hear anyone talk about what they're producing. - # Scratch +Certainly this is how writing is for me. Not that I am a great craftsman, but I do know that experience of knowing what to write not because I thought of it consciously, but because it's there, one word after another until they all fit. I am merely transcribing. + +That's not to say it's easy. The opposite actually. Usually this is presaged by struggle. I can't figure out how to say what I want to say. I write, I re-write, nothing works. I step away. I do something else. I try to get the whole thing out of my head, and when I finally do I either forget it entirely, or it comes crashing out in one long burst, all there for me, all I have to do is type it up. Did I think of it? Was it given to me from elsewhere? I don't know. + + + + +I must backpedal on the statement I opened with, that it doesn't really matter what you make. That's not entirely true. It doesn't matter what the thing is, but the person making it must want it, must need it. Inspired making of the sort I am thinking of leads to things of beauty. Useful or purely ornamental doesn't matter, but to invest something with the thumb of God cannot result in anything other than the beautiful, and you have to want it to get there. In that sense the thing matters. + +It's possible to go further than with this than just making things. If done properly everyday tasks can be lent this same holiness. This is why there are elaborate ceremonies around things like tea, coffee, food, even cleaning. All ordinary things made extraordinary by focusing attention on them and excluding everything else for a moment. + + + + + + + +For me they are threads woven together in stories I've lived. Some told here, some told elsewhere, some never told. I've been thinking a lot lately about stories, the stories I tell. This is why I did not write anything for many months. I wasn't sure about the stories I wanted to tell, but I also wasn't sure about the stories I was telling myself. + +If the stories you tell yourself diverge to greatly from the world as it is, you have a problem. We are the stories we tell. If you want to change, change the story you are telling yourself. + +Before you can do that though, you have to figure out which stories you're telling yourself that are true, which ones you're the process of making true, and which ones you just wish were true. I find that there is progression here. You tell yourself a story you wish was true, then you tell yourself the story of making it true, and then you tell the story of it because it is true. + +That said, not everything --whether you tell it to yourself or to someone else -- is a good story. The story of the people who almost did something is not a good story. We all have that story in our lives, few of us want to hear other people's version. We want good stories. I spend most of my life looking for good stories. + +Increasingly, over the last few months, life in the bus has not been a good story. At first I couldn't put my finger on it, things just felt off. blah you might say. + + ## Daily 6:00-6:30 Wake up, cold rinse, body weight workout. -6:30-7:00 Take the out, watch the sunrise (this time of year anyway), take photos, watch birds (depending on time of year). +6:30-7:00 Take the dog out, watch the sunrise (this time of year anyway), take photos, watch birds (depending on time of year). 7:00-8:00 Family breakfast (at least 30g protein), hang out of with the kids (who help make breakfast). -8:00-9:00 Make something. Usually means writing something. Today I wrote this. Yesterday I wrote something for work. The day before I worked on a novel. Sometimes I just write in my journal. There's no pattern to this, though I prefer to write with a pen and paper and avoid the screen. Often, if we're near civilization, I go to the coffee shop for an espresso during this time. -9:00-10:00 If I can swing it, I keep writing. Depends on work. Sometimes I have administrative things that need to get done in the morning. But the days when I can get two, or even three, hours of writing in in the morning are the best days. +8:00-9:00 Make something. Usually means writing something. Today I wrote this. Yesterday I wrote something for work. The day before I worked on a novel. Sometimes I write in my journal. There's no pattern to this, though I make it a point to write on paper and avoid the screen. Often, if we're near civilization, I go to the coffee shop for an espresso during this time. +9:00-10:30 Homeschool Monday/Wed/Fri. Tues and Thurs, if I can swing it, I keep writing. 10:00-12:00 Depending on the day I try to spend this time either doing something with the kids, reading a book, exploring wherever we are, going for a walk. Once a week I have a meeting during this time so that day I just try to get as much work done as I can. 12:00-1:00 Somewhere in here I eat. I don't generally care much about lunch so I don't eat very much. This is why I try to get 40-50 grams of protein for breakfast, so I don't have to eat much lunch. 1:00-4:00 Write. @@ -164,53 +207,6 @@ Which is how I came to be here. -Certainly this is how writing is for me. Not that I am a great craftsman, but I do know that experience of knowing what to write not because I thought of it consciously, but because it's there, one word after another until they all fit. I am merely transcribing. - -That's not to say it's easy. The opposite actually. Usually this is presaged by struggle. I can't figure out how to say what I want to say. I write, I re-write, nothing works. I step away. I do something else. I try to get the whole thing out of my head, and when I finally do I either forget it entirely, or it comes crashing out in one long burst, all there for me, all I have to do is type it up. Did I think of it? Was it given to me from elsewhere? I don't know. - - - - -I must backpedal on the statement I opened with, that it doesn't really matter what you make. That's not entirely true. It doesn't matter what the thing is, but the person making it must want it, must need it. Inspired making of the sort I am thinking of leads to things of beauty. Useful or purely ornamental doesn't matter, but to invest something with the thumb of God cannot result in anything other than the beautiful, and you have to want it to get there. In that sense the thing matters. - -It's possible to go further than with this than just making things. If done properly everyday tasks can be lent this same holiness. This is why there are elaborate ceremonies around things like tea, coffee, food, even cleaning. All ordinary things made extraordinary by focusing attention on them and excluding everything else for a moment. - - - - - - - -For me they are threads woven together in stories I've lived. Some told here, some told elsewhere, some never told. I've been thinking a lot lately about stories, the stories I tell. This is why I did not write anything for many months. I wasn't sure about the stories I wanted to tell, but I also wasn't sure about the stories I was telling myself. - -If the stories you tell yourself diverge to greatly from the world as it is, you have a problem. We are the stories we tell. If you want to change, change the story you are telling yourself. - -Before you can do that though, you have to figure out which stories you're telling yourself that are true, which ones you're the process of making true, and which ones you just wish were true. I find that there is progression here. You tell yourself a story you wish was true, then you tell yourself the story of making it true, and then you tell the story of it because it is true. - -That said, not everything --whether you tell it to yourself or to someone else -- is a good story. The story of the people who almost did something is not a good story. We all have that story in our lives, few of us want to hear other people's version. We want good stories. I spend most of my life looking for good stories. - -Increasingly, over the last few months, life in the bus has not been a good story. At first I couldn't put my finger on it, things just felt off. blah you might say. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -my greatest skill has been to want but little—so little capital it required, so little distraction from my wonted moods, I foolishly thought. While my acquaintances went unhesitatingly into trade or the professions, I contemplated this occupation as most like theirs; ranging the hills all summer to pick the berries which came in my way, and thereafter carelessly dispose of them; so, to keep the flocks of Admetus. I also dreamed that I might gather the wild herbs, or carry evergreens to such villagers as loved to be reminded of the woods, even to the city, by hay-cart loads. But I have since learned that trade curses everything it handles; and though you trade in messages from heaven, the whole curse of trade attaches to the business. - -As I preferred some things to others, and especially valued my freedom, as I could fare hard and yet succeed well, I did not wish to spend my time in earning rich carpets or other fine furniture, or delicate cookery, or a house in the Grecian or the Gothic style just yet. If there are any to whom it is no interruption to acquire these things, and who know how to use them when acquired, I relinquish to them the pursuit. Some are "industrious," and appear to love labor for its own sake, or perhaps because it keeps them out of worse mischief; to such I have at present nothing to say. Those who would not know what to do with more leisure than they now enjoy, I might advise to work twice as hard as they do—work till they pay for themselves, and get their free papers. For myself I found that the occupation of a day-laborer was the most independent of any, especially as it required only thirty or forty days in a year to support one. The laborer's day ends with the going down of the sun, and he is then free to devote himself to his chosen pursuit, independent of his labor; but his employer, who speculates from month to month, has no respite from one end of the year to the other. - - -if we will live simply and wisely; as the pursuits of the simpler nations are still the sports of the more artificial. It is not necessary that a man should earn his living by the sweat of his brow, unless he sweats easier than I do. ## Spirit of Craft |