diff options
Diffstat (limited to 'glb.txt')
| -rw-r--r-- | glb.txt | 24 |
1 files changed, 24 insertions, 0 deletions
@@ -273,6 +273,30 @@ He was lost in this thought when he realized he could no longer see his daughter "I can see you you know." +Her father carefully slide the rifle up in to the edge of the portal. can you see this is whispered and cracked off a round that hit the birch tree a few feet over his head, sending a splatter of bark and green wood splinters down on his head. He was pretty sure he never flinched though. He brought the glass back to his eye and saw that the man was now frowning slightly, but had not moved. he heaved himself off the birdch and dusted the splinters from hair and shoulders. He glanced out at the boat and bellowed, "come ashore, we'll settle this in a ring. + +Papa what is going on? + +Nothing to worry about Iza that's TK. we're friendly. usually. + +He shot an arrow into our mast and you fired your rifle at him, that doesn't seem friendly to me. And now he wants you to go ashore. And where is Karrin? + +Relax Iza. I will go ashore, we will get int he ring and later tonight we'll all be sitting around their fire. They just have some different customs is all. Actually I don't think it's them, not the Ojibwe maybe, just tk. Anyway, I will go ashore now. Here/ He handed her the rifle. If it looks like I'm losing, fire a warning shot. + +What? + +I'll be fine. + +And with that he stood up and walked to the stern where the little digny was tied and hopped in. He rowed to the shore where tk was already dragging his foot in a cirle. It was then that Iza saw the other men emerge from the woods. Two dozen at least. They stood around the circle. Her father and the tall brown man squareed off in the ring. She heard a count of some kind and then they began to circle each other. + +They have the fight, throw some jui jitsu in there and then everyone is friends and they are allowed to the circle by the fire. + +there needs to be more description of the land and the water, the weather, more details more lushness, the silence and quiet of the deep wood. though the trees may change the presence of the places does not. there is something here very old and ancient that bears witness to everything to walks upon it. get to the animals, the way in which they become part of the fabric of life and are not a comodity to be taken, but a partner to worked with and respected. I need to go back and redo the hunting section and show the father doing it and skining and cleaning rather than just glossing over that bit. + +Make the more than human part of the story without overdoing it. show from the deeer's perspective maybe. or at least his perspective + +maybe the man has a child in the village? maybe the mother is gone? Maybe he has two families? I don't know, is that too much. but then why would he leave his son behind? I would never do that, why would he? + They go ashore, spend time with the Ojibwe tribe that's come down from the north to winter cabins on the lake. For them it's too keep warm, to fish, to hunt where there is still game. To works the southern forests. The father has become friends with them over the years, his long hikes in the woods when he was young, he ran away from the village he was raised in to the south, he came to live among the trees. he lives with the Ojibwe for several years before he is captured and shanghaied somehow and ends up at sea on the lake and then later all the way to the southern seas where he has adventures and then he decides to return to the north. He walks up from present day tennessee mountains to the village that's where ashland is now and meets his wife there and settles, but still hutns and fishes, is unwilling to live a stationary life. he spends his summers on the boat, his winters in the forest outside the village. the wife lifes in the village, forages and grows the medicines. she is the village healer. the healer for the whole area. They spend a few fires with the Ojibwe. Iza sees a young boy, a hunter who catches her eye. not too much there, but something about him stays wtih her so that he comes up later when she is south. why does she go south? something drives her south. |