eliza may: finished the story of sarah and the eliza may

1 files changed, 133 insertions, 4 deletions

diff --git a/lbh.txt b/lbh.txt
index 6dfb022..2cbae24 100644
--- a/lbh.txt
+++ b/lbh.txt
@@ -1019,7 +1019,7 @@ Birdie saw out of the corner of her eye that Tamba and her father were both star
 
 Three men lowered a boat and came ashore in the usual manner to join the woman who was talking now with her Father. Lulu and Birdie stood on top the dune, watching as her father and Tamba greeted the strangers. Birdie wasn't sure where Kobayashi was, but she suspected he was in a tree with a rifle somewhere. Her father might like to pretend he welcomed every ship, but he was careful too. He made sure someone had his back and he there's whenever a new ship showed it's face. It seemed to Birdie though that this was probably a waste of time. There was a woman on this boat. Birdie had only twice before encountered women on boats and both times they were passing as men. At least they seemed to be. Birdie knew at once but no one else seemed to, or they pretended not to, it was hard to know.
 
-This was the first time she'd seen a woman being a woman and being a sailor and she was pretty sure this woman was her hero. She watched in awe as she shook her father's hand like a man, smiled and laughed freely. She was Birdie realized with a rush, just like Lulu and herself. Only bigger. Older. Was it possible to remain as she was now as she grew older? She had never really considered this until now. She had never really seen herself in any adult, even those she looked up to like her father and Tamba and Kobayashi, not even in Aunt Māra. She loved them all, but she was not like them, this she knew deep down in some place that she had not thought up or created through her experience. Some place that was just there, had always been there and would always be there she assumed. She was not like them. She was like this woman. This smiling, laughing, singing, swearing, hatchet-packing, trouser-wearing woman. 
+This was the first time she'd seen a woman being a woman and being a sailor and perhaps being a captain. She was pretty sure this woman was her hero. She watched in awe as she shook her father's hand like a man, smiled and laughed freely. She was Birdie realized with a rush, just like Lulu and herself. Only bigger. Older. Was it possible to remain as she was now as she grew older? She had never really considered this until now. She had never really seen herself in any adult, even those she looked up to like her father and Tamba and Kobayashi, not even in Aunt Māra. She loved them all, but she was not like them, this she knew deep down in some place that she had not thought up or created through her experience. Some place that was just there, had always been there and would always be there she assumed. She was not like them. She was like this woman. This smiling, laughing, singing, swearing, hatchet-packing, trouser-wearing woman. 
 
 Lulu who stood silent beside seemed to feel the same way when she said suddenly, "Who is that woman?"
 
@@ -1109,9 +1109,9 @@ Sarah smiled. "And that's what you do? You help them careen and tar?"
 
 The girls nodded. 
 
-Their father returned saying Tamba had taken the ship into the marsh, to help them anchor it just offshore from Delos. They were going to careen and tar them together beginning the next day. tk ship name turned out to have a crew of six, including Sarah. Her father sent Birdie down to the end of the island to fetch her Aunt and Uncle and cousins. Between the two camps, plus some salt pork from tk ship name, they were able to put together a stew that Birdie seasoned with wild onions she'd gathered the day before. She and Lulu had spent the morning hunting the marsh for eggs, which they boiled to go along with stew. Aunt Māra made bread the way the Edistow did, laying the dough right on on the coals and then breaking the hard crust into half moon shapes into which they poured the stew before setting the whole thing in their abolone bowls to cool. The result was a bready, gooey, stewy mess that was Birdie's favorite meal, after turtle. 
+Their father returned saying Tamba had taken the ship into the marsh, to help them anchor it just offshore from Delos. They were going to careen and tar them together beginning the next day. Eliza May turned out to have a crew of six, including Sarah. Her father sent Birdie down to the end of the island to fetch her Aunt and Uncle and cousins. Between the two camps, plus some salt pork from Eliza Maj, they were able to put together a stew that Birdie seasoned with wild onions she'd gathered the day before. She and Lulu had spent the morning hunting the marsh for eggs, which they boiled to go along with stew. Aunt Māra made bread the way the Edistow did, laying the dough right on on the coals and then breaking the hard crust into half moon shapes into which they poured the stew before setting the whole thing in their abolone bowls to cool. The result was a bready, gooey, stewy mess that was Birdie's favorite meal, after turtle. 
 
-It was beginning to get cool in the evenings and her father had been lighting the big fire again some nights. Though it wasn't cold enough to gather around it he lit it tonight and Unle Cole brought out his fiddle and the men from tk boat name brought their instruments and there was playing and dancing well into the night. Birdie danced with her father, with Sarah, with Tamba, and finally was too tired to dance anymore and sat and watched the men from tk boat name, pass the rum between them. They offered it to her father, who glanced up at their commotion to see the jug being offered. Birdie watched as he stood. Her father looked at the men and smiled. "Normally I don't drink. But I do appreciate the offer and I want you to feel welcome here, I have no complaint with any man that drinks, so long as he controls himself within the bounds of reason." The other men listened, glanced among themselves and slowly nodded. "Sounds good," said one. 
+It was beginning to get cool in the evenings and her father had been lighting the big fire again some nights. Though it wasn't cold enough to gather around it he lit it tonight and Unle Cole brought out his fiddle and the men from Eliza May brought their instruments and there was playing and dancing well into the night. Birdie danced with her father, with Sarah, with Tamba, and finally was too tired to dance anymore and sat and watched the men from Eliza May, pass the rum between them. They offered it to her father, who glanced up at their commotion to see the jug being offered. Birdie watched as he stood. Her father looked at the men and smiled. "Normally I don't drink. But I do appreciate the offer and I want you to feel welcome here, I have no complaint with any man that drinks, so long as he controls himself within the bounds of reason." The other men listened, glanced among themselves and slowly nodded. "Sounds good," said one. 
 
 But then her father did a thing Birdie did not expect. He took the jug and drank a bit gulp from it and handed it back to men, who cheered. Her father smiled and sat back down next to Sarah and resumed talking. 
 
@@ -1141,13 +1141,142 @@ The sat in silence for a while until Lulu and Henri climbed sleepily up the dune
 
 ## Lulu and Sarah
 
-Lulu stood in the shade of the oaks, watching the thick hemp cords that held the tk boat name over on it's side. Her job was to inspect the ropes and the tree that held them, looking for any signs of weakness or fraying or rubbing. If any of these ropes slipped or broke loose it would put more strain on the remaining ropes and if they went, the ship would role back upright, crushing anyone who was working under it. It was pleasant work, watching things, though she couldn't help but feel tense and nervous since it was more than likely her father working under the boat, he always took the most dangerous jobs himself. If anything slipped she would scream and run which would be signal for anyone in the way of the rolling ship to run for their lives. Lulu was well known for her ability to out shriek anyone, which was why her father had given her the job.
+Lulu stood in the shade of the oaks, watching the thick hemp cords that held the Eliza May over on it's side. Her job was to inspect the ropes and the tree that held them, looking for any signs of weakness or fraying or rubbing. If any of these ropes slipped or broke loose it would put more strain on the remaining ropes and if they went, the ship would role back upright, crushing anyone who was working under it. It was pleasant work, watching things, though she couldn't help but feel tense and nervous since it was more than likely her father working under the boat. He always took the most dangerous jobs himself. If anything slipped she would scream and run which would be signal for anyone in the way of the rolling ship to run for their lives. Lulu was well known for her ability to out shriek anyone, which was why her father had given her the job.
 
+She kept an eye, and an ear, on the ropes, but she also couldn't help keep an eye on Sarah, who had donned sailor's canvas pants, a cotton shirt and a bandanna to hold her red hair back and who was helping Tambo tend the fire and stir the great iron kettle as they heated some of the tar. The tar did not have to be re-heated to apply, but it went on easier, and more importantly penetrated deeper into the wood when it was, not hot, but warm. So Sarah stood, look like a man but for her hair, working the stove. Lulu had never seen a woman like her who was both beautiful when she wanted to be, but who could also, Lulu had realized the previous night around the fire, turn into as rough toughed a sailor as any who had ever graced their shore. She was in fact two things it seemed to Lulu: a sailor and a woman, which, as she and Birdie had discussed quietly that morning, sitting on the dune eating dried fish as the sun rose, exactly what she wanted to be: a sailor and a woman.
 
+She thought about what her father would have said if she'd told him this. He probably would have smiled and said, of course, you can do whatever you want to do, but it was one thing to say that when you were tk father's name, it was another to do it when you were Lulu, who spent most of her time feeling small, curious, and unsure of the right thing to do. She told stories, she invented elaborate stories primarily to keep anyone from thinking too much about her, to get them involved is some world she could control rather than looking to her, or at her, in this one, which she knew well enough she could not control at all.
 
+Then there was Sarah. She seemed very much in control of this world right here, right now. Lulu watched and she dipped a wooden bucket in the great kettle of tar, the muscles in her arms tout and ropy as knotted lines, she lugged it around the bow, out of view. Lulu desperately wanted to ask her if she really was in control, if she really did know what she was going and would she show Lulu how to do this, how to know where you belonged in the world. Instead she remained in the shadows, watching as Sarah worked alongside the men.
+
+--
+
+Lulu was relieved of rope watching duty after the hull was tarred and worked moved to the deck.The day was long, the tarring continued long after dark, everyone working by torches staked in the sand around the boat. They ate in shifts, dried fish, leftover pork. Lulu and Henri sat to the side, chewing strips of dried fish, watching the shadows of the men working streak across the sand. They looked a little like they were dancing as they moved back and forth among the torches, dragging the sopping rags of tar across the wood.
+
+Finally they were too tired. The men in the crew of Eliza May sat down around the fire, passing a bottle of rum between them, telling quiet stories of peaceful shores they'd seen, other ships they'd careened. Lulu and Birdie sat down at the top of the dune, their backs to the fire, and watched their father walking down to the shore to swim. Sarah came up and sat down behind them. None of them spoke. They sat in a line, watching the moonlight rippling on the quietly lapping waves. There was no swell, no wind, the sea was calm as a lake. Clouds near the horizon caught the bluish glow of the moonlight and scattered it among themselves until it faded the blackness and the bottom of the clouds merged with the blackness of the night sea.
+
+Their father who had been standing at the shore, back to them, lifted his arms and pulled off his shirt, and dropped his pants and ran into the water.
+
+"Oh goodness," said Sarah watching momentarily, but then quickly turning away, toward Lulu. "Does he always swim naked?"
+
+Lulu and Birdie exchanged a look. "How else would you swim?" Lulu asked, wondering, for the first time if maybe Sarah didn't know everything. She looked at her in the moonlight and realized she her face was flushed. Lulu felt embarrassed for her and quickly looked away, back toward her father who was a tiny head bobbing among the crumbling white foam of the small waves. It was then that Lulu noticed the light swirling around her father as he swam back to shore. He wrapped himself in a quilt and came walking up the beach. "Great night for a swim girls, phosphorescence everywhere." He nodded to Sarah, but she continue to look away.
+
+Lulu jumped up and Birdie was right behind her. Sarah might dress like a man, and do a sailor's job, but Lulu and Birdie knew some things too, and nightswimming was one of them. Night swimming is best on a quiet night, though the girls and the brother had been known to swim in wilder weather as well. Calm nights were best for phosphorescence though. Her father claimed the eerie blue light that seemed bubble up around you like tiny glowing stars caught in the sea were actually tiny animals. This was one of the things he'd learned sailing with a man from London the year before they'd come to the Carolinas, but Lulu wasn't sure she believed it. 
+
+When Lulu stopped at the shoreline she was surprised to find not just Birdie with her, but Sarah as well. Lulu smiled encouragingly at her as she began to pulled off her clothes, but she could sense that it would be best if she went ahead into the sea. She knew some adults didn't like nakedness. This confused her, but she respected it, and, after leaving her pants and shirt on the sand out of the reach of the waves, she ran with Birdie into the water.
+
+The stopped knee deep in the water and looked down to see the bubbles coming off their legs. Bubbles that glowed like tiny blue coals floating up to the surface of the water as she moved. She heard a gasp and looked behind her. Sarah stood naked in the water, her head bent down, transfixed by the blue glow. "I have never..." she did not finish the though. Instead she began walking farther out. The girls could see a blue ripple of light following behind her like a wake as she moved through the water. She stopped when the water was up to her stomach and turned around toward them. "This is unbelievable," she said, "what is it?"
+
+Lulu shrugged. Depends who you ask. Tambo and Papa say it's tiny animals. They sailed with some Englishman who caught some and showed them under a glass. Kobayashi says it's the spirits of the sea playing."
+
+"What do you think it is?"
+
+"It's really beautiful, that's what it is." Lulu smiled. She enjoyed knowing something Sarah did not, it made her like Sarah more, she felt equal, also in possession of mysteries. Different, but equal. "Watch this," she said, and doves into the water kicking her legs together like a mermaid's tail. It left a haunting wake of ghostly pale blue water behind her. She surfaced near Sarah. 
+
+The three of them took turns swirling around to stir up the bubbles of glowing phosphorescence. Birdie was the best swimmer, unafraid of the deeper water where Lulu well knew sharks also swam. She watched her sister streak round, swimming in circles like pods of dolphins did to herd fish, only Birdie stirred up a column of blue light that rose up to the surface where it spread out like spilled blue milk.
+
+"You sister is quite a swimmer," Sarah said as they watched her circle. Lulu was proud of Birdie, she was quite a swimmer. It wasn't that long ago that Lulu would have been jealous, but she knew she was a better tree climber so it didn't bother her any more. She like that her sister was a good swimmer. 
+
+Lulu shivered and turned back toward shore. "I think I am going to go get warm by the fire."
+
+"Oh stay a little longer, please?" Birdie floated, catching her breath. "Swim around, it'll warm you up."
+
+"No, I want to dry off and be warm by the fire."
+
+Birdie pouted but said nothing. 
+
+"I think it's time for me to go in too Birdie," said Sarah.
+
+Birdie gave in and they all waded in together, swirling up the last lingering trails of blue light as they went. They dressed quickly, shivering more in the night air than they had in the water, and ran up the beach to the fire. Most of the men were passed out around the fire when they got back. Tamba and Kobayashi were nowhere to be seen. Only their father was still up, lying on his side by the fire, head propped up on his arm, quietly smoking his pipe, the sweet smell of tobacco and tk bark drifting up from the bowl. 
+
+"How was it?" He asked.
+
+"Beautiful," they all said together and then laughed.
+
+Lulu flopped down on the sand close to the fire and leaned back against her father's outstretched legs. Birdie and Sarah sat down nearby. 
+
+"Your children won't tell me what makes that fantastic glow..."
+
+"Oh no?" Her father glanced at them. Lulu shrugged. "Well, it depends who you ask I supposed. I sailed with a man from the Royal Society of London who showed me tiny animals under the lens of a glass. He claimed they made the substance that glow. I have sailed with others, in the southern seas who called something similar Te Lapa, but this was deeper, not on the surface at all so I am not sure if the tiny animals can account for that." Her father smiled mischievous and said, "I also have the very old log book of a captain who calls it 'the essence of sea nymphs'"
+
+Lulu noticed Sarah's cheeks flushed red. "And what do you think it is?"
+
+Her father took a long drag on his pipe and exhaled slowly. "I think it's beautiful."
+
+"That's what your daughter said."
+
+Her father chuckled. "Well, Sarah, what do you think it is?"
+
+Sarah though for a moment and then smiled. "Well, it is beautiful..."
+
+"That settles it then."
+
+None of them spoke for some time, the listened to the soft crackle of the fire, the faint rumble of the sea, the rustling clatter of palm fronds. 
+
+Papa stood up, stretched extravagantly, and announced he was headed to bed. The three scooted closer together, but did not talk, they watched the fire burn down. Lulu spent some time screwing up her courage and then softly asked the question she'd been wondering, "Sarah, are you the captain of Eliza May?"
+
+Sarah didn't stop staring in to the fire, but Lulu saw her smile. "We are a syndicate."
+
+"What's that?" Birdie had sat up.
+
+"It's a group of people with a common purpose, working toward that purpose so that we all make it where we're going."
+
+"Did you sign articles?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+Birdie nodded as though she were satisfied. Lulu wasn't sure. "So if you signed articles, and you're sailing as Brethren, who is the captain?"
+
+"There isn't one."
+
+"Who makes decisions when a storm comes?"
+
+Sarah stared into the fire. The hiss of burning wood filled the silence. "That hasn't happened," was all she said.
+
+Lulu and Birdie exchanged a look. *It will* they were both thinking.
+
+"I understand what you're asking me girls. You're asking who is in charge and the answer is no one." She sat back so she could see both of them, they instinctive scooted closer. "Why do you need a captain?"
+
+Birdie did not hesitate. "So one person can make decisions when there is no time to make them by committee."
+
+"Well, we're not planning to do anything other than sail to Nassau. So we're probably not going to need to make many decisions in a hurry."
+
+Lulu said nothing, but she realized suddenly that Sarah did not know everything. That she might wear sailors britches and a man's shirt, but she had done very little sailing and when she talked she revealed how little she knew. Lulu was glad she wasn't sailing with Eliza May. She knew eventually the sea would force decisions on them, it always did and they would not have anyone to make them, and they would argue and precious time would be wasted and people would be hurt. Or worse. But she said nothing.
+
+Birdie was not so quiet. "You can't run a ship through a storm by committee. Every sailor knows that."
+
+It was Sarah's turn to be quiet. She turned her head toward Birdie and Lulu could only see her read hair, glowing even redder in the firelight. She understood in an instant why they had no captain. No one wanted to step up. No one wanted to be responsible. Why would anyone want to lead? It was much easier to sit back and let someone else make the decisions for you. The problem was that if everyone did that, then there was no one to make those decisions.
+
+"I suppose we will need a captain at some point."
+
+"You will," Birdie nodded. "And you need to pick one before you need one."
+
+And, though Lulu, you need to pick one who knows where to go. It was something she and her father had talked about once. She asked why he sometimes was not the captain of Delos, why he let Tamba and Kobayashi lead. All he would say is that different times called for different people. She'd asked Tamba who'd told her the secret was to know, "not to think, understand, but to know. To listen to your heart Lu, to reason with your mind and to understand the world and its winds with your eyes, your ears, your nose, the sense that tickles your spine when you know, this is the way, this is the wind, this is the line across the water, this is where I am supposed to go. And when you know that, when you feel that, open the canvas, catch every bit of that wind you can without any bit of fear in your heart and nothing can stop you."
+
+Sarah sat back and looked at them for moment, studying their faces. "How old are you girls again?"
+
+"Nine," they said together. They all laughed. 
+
+"Can I tell you something?"
+
+They both nodded. 
+
+"Sarah is not my real name."
+
+Lulu and Birdie's eye met for a flash, but neither of them said anything.
+
+"My true name is Ann."
 
 ## Campfire Talk
 
+The Eliza May sails away two days later
+    the tar making continues
+    The end of tar season, another big party.
+    the scene below.
+    Then the storm
+
+
+
 There was a day, just before the moon that would mark the equinox, when the heat broke. Everyone knew it would return again at least once more, but for a few short days, it was deliciously cool and the breeze came inland in the afternoons. The sago palm fronds clattered in the wind, a clicking ticking sound like the women's shoes on the plank sidewalks of Charlestown.
 
 the grownups sat around the fire talking and Birdie pretended to be asleep. The sand was cool on her the skin of her arm