added latest posts and some revisions of darktable guide

2 files changed, 87 insertions, 43 deletions

diff --git a/guides.txt b/guides.txt
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+++ b/guides.txt
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 ## Getting Started with Darktable
 
-Ansel Adams once said "the negative is the score, and the print the performance.” Were he shooting digital today, I suspect Adams would rephrase that to: ***the RAW file is the score, and the print the performance.*** 
+Ansel Adams said "the negative is the score, and the print the performance.” Were he shooting digital today, I suspect Adams would rephrase that to: ***the RAW file is the score, and the print the performance.*** 
 
-Today's RAW file is the equivalent of a film negative (RAW files are actually considerably more malleable, but you get the idea). The point is, if you want more control over the final look of your photographs, you want to shoot RAW format images. These days nearly every camera can shoot RAW files -- even my four-year-old phone can do it. You may have to turn this features on though. Look through your manual or menus until you find something like "image format", which should have options for JPG and RAW. You want RAW. You can shoot in RAW *and* JPG if you want, but I tend to shoot just RAW.
+Today's RAW file is somewhat like a film negative. RAW files are considerably more malleable, but you get the idea. If you want more control over the final look of your photographs, you want to shoot RAW format images. These days nearly every camera can shoot RAW files -- even my four-year-old phone can do it. You may have to set your camera to shoot RAW though, most are only set to capture JPGs out of the box. Look through your manual or menus until you find "image format", which should have options for JPG and RAW. You want RAW. You can shoot in RAW *and* JPG if you want, but I tend to shoot just RAW.
 
 The problem with RAW is that they are the equivalent of film negatives. You have to "develop" them. As with developing film, the process of developing a RAW file takes time and skill. When you're first starting it can seem overwhelming, which is probably why you're here. Don't worry. Remember what Thoreau said, "nothing can be more useful to a man than the determination not to be hurried." I'm sure Thoreau would say "a person" if he were writing today, but the point is, relax, take a breath, there's no need to rush, it'll make sense eventually.
 
@@ -24,47 +24,73 @@ Okay, ready? Let's get started.
 
 ### Set Up Darktable {: #setup }
 
-The first thing to do is [download Darktable](https://www.darktable.org/install/) for your PC. Darktable is available for Linux, Mac, and Windows. I have never used the Windows version, but presumably it works like Mac and Linux.
+The first thing to do is [download Darktable](https://www.darktable.org/install/) for your PC. Darktable is available for Linux, Mac, and Windows. 
 
 Once you have Darktable installed, open it up and you will get a blank library screen. Before you do anything else, let's check some settings to make sure we're all on the same page. Click the gear icon toward the top of the screen to the right side:
 
 <img src="images/2023/darktable40-settings.jpg" id="image-3854" class="picwide" />
 
-Click the Processing tab on the left side of the settings panel and make sure that **Auto Apply Pixel Workflow defaults** is set to **scene-refered (filmic)**, like this:
+Click the Processing tab on the left side of the settings panel and make sure that **Auto Apply Pixel Workflow defaults** is set to **scene-referred (filmic)**, like this:
 
 <img src="images/2023/darktable40-processing-settings_6cAuG3R.jpg" id="image-3849" class="picfull caption" />
 
 This will ensure that what's applied by default when you import an image is the same as what's applied to mine. This isn't necessarily the "right" thing to use, scene-referred (sigmoid) will also work, but it won't produce the same results as the rest of these tutorials. 
 
-We're done with settings. Hit escape to close the settings window and save your changes. Yeah, that's weird way to do it, but that's the way it works in Darktable (on Linux at least). 
+We're done with settings. Hit escape to close the settings window and save your changes. Yes, that's weird way to do it, but that's the way it works in Darktable (on Linux at least). 
 
 Let's add some images to our Library view so we can explore both that and the darktable view. To do that you want to open the import module in the upper left corner of the screen and click the **add to library** button.
 
 <img src="images/2023/darktable40-import_zzr1pfq.jpg" id="image-3851" class="picwide caption" />
 
-Naming and organizing your images is a topic into itself. I am going to assume that you have a system for this and that you don't want Darktable to move or rename images. Because you don't, it's tools are not the best for that. I have a custom shell script that renames my images for me, but you can do that same thing using [Rapid Photo Downloader](https://damonlynch.net/rapid/) on Linux. I'm sure MacOS and Windows have similar apps (if you have suggestions, drop a comment below and I will add them here).
+Naming and organizing your images is a topic onto itself. I am going to assume that you have a system for this and that you don't want Darktable to move or rename images. Because you don't, it's tools are not the best for that. 
 
-Use what works for you. What I do is use a directory structure of a folder for the year, then within that folders that start with the month number, followed by the event name. So if I took some pictures at Edisto Beach in January of 2024, those images would live in `2024/01_edisto-beach`. Within that folder every images is named YYYY-MM-DD_HHMMSS_event-name.ARW. Which works out to a timestamp with the event name on the end so I can sort them by date taken in any application, including the file browser, but know roughly what they are without opening them (thanks to the event name on the end). Anyway, this is what works for me, do what works for you.
+I have a custom shell script that renames my images for me, but you can do the same thing using [Rapid Photo Downloader](https://damonlynch.net/rapid/) on Linux. I'm sure MacOS and Windows have similar apps (if you have suggestions, drop a comment below and I will add them here).
 
-The import dialog has a few options worth understanding. The "select only new pictures" option is a handy option if you regularly add more images to existing folders as I do. Darktable **WILL NOT** automatically add new images to your database. You must go and import them manually, even if the folder is already in Darktable. If you check the "select only new pictures" option, the new images will be automatically selected when you open that folder in the import dialog.
+When it comes to organizing images, use what works for you. What I do is use a directory structure of a folder for the year, then within that folders that start with the month number, followed by the event name. So if I took some pictures at Edisto Beach in January of 2024, those images would live in `2024/01_edisto-beach`. Within that folder every image is named YYYY-MM-DD_HHMMSS_event-name.ARW. Which works out to a timestamp with the event name on the end so I can sort them by date taken in any application, including the file browser, but also know roughly what they are without opening them (thanks to the event name on the end). Anyway, this is what works for me, do what works for you.
 
-That other option is to find new images recursively. I leave this unchecked because I never import a folder with another folder inside it, but if you do, this will tell Darktable to import all the images, no matter how many folders deep they might be buried.
+The Darktable import images dialog has a few options worth understanding. The "select only new pictures" option is a handy option if you regularly add more images to existing folders as I do. Darktable **WILL NOT** automatically add new images to your database. You must go and import them manually, even if the folder is already in Darktable. If you check the "select only new pictures" option, the new images will be automatically selected when you open that folder in the import dialog.
+
+The other option worth knowing is find new images recursively. I leave this unchecked because I never import a folder with another folder inside it, but if you do, this will tell Darktable to import all the images, no matter how many folders deep they might be buried.
 
 Also see the [relevant Darktable Manual entry for the import dialog](https://docs.darktable.org/usermanual/4.4/en/module-reference/utility-modules/lighttable/import/#import-dialog).
 
 ###Learning Your Way Around Darktable  {: #around }
 
-I prefer to navigate Darktable mostly using keyboard shortcuts. I use some built-in shortcuts, like **`d`** and **`l`** to switch between **`d`**arkroom and **`l`**ighttable views, and I have quite a few custom shortcuts as well. The one I consider most essential is mapping the Exposure model to `Shift+e`. This allows me to hold down Shift-e and flick my mouse scroll wheel (or trackpad) up and down to increase and decrease exposure. I don't have to futz with opening the Exposure module or anything else, I hit the shortcut and adjust. This save so much time.
+Now that you've got Darktable installed and few images imported, let's figure out what we can do. 
+
+The main view is the Lighttable. This is modeled after the old lightbox we used to put slides on then stare at with a loupe until we were half blind. Fortunately in Darktable you can just zoom in and out. 
+
+I use a laptop and rarely get out a mouse, so I prefer to navigate Darktable mostly using keyboard shortcuts. There are some good built-in shortcuts, like using **`d`** and **`l`** to switch between **`d`**arkroom and **`l`**ighttable views. You can do that now if you want to see Darktable's other main view, the darkroom view which is where you actually edit images.
+
+Switch back to Lighttable by hitting **l** again. 
+
+The first thing I do in Lighttable when I import new images is figure out which ones I want to spend time on and which are not worth the effort. I never throw the latter away, but I do tend to ignore them most of the time. 
+
+Darktable offers a "culling" mode to help out with the process. You can try it if you like, the shortcut is **x** which will change the view in put two images side-by-side so you can compare them. 
+
+I don't use this mode, it came along after I'd already figured out a way to do the same, so I've continued with my method, which is more complex, but adapted to how I shoot and process images.
+
+Like most people I almost always underexpose my digital images. It's easier to recover shadows than highlights so this make sense in digital photography. Unfortunately it leaves me with a lot of overly dark images to compare to figure out which are worth keeping. My solution to this was to create a quick way to lighten them, primarily using keyboard shortcuts. 
 
-Here's how I set it up. Open the preferences pane again. Choose **Shortcuts** in the left menu and then click the little arrow to open the **processing modules** section and scroll down to **exposure**. Click the arrow next to **exposure** and then double click on **exposure**. After you double click, Darktable is waiting for you to define the keyboard shortcut. Hold down shift, press 'e' and scroll your mouse. Now look below and you should see a line like what's in this screenshot:
+The shortcut I consider most essential is mapping Darktable's Exposure module to **`Shift+e`**. 
+
+This allows me to hold down **Shift-e** and flick my mouse scroll wheel (or trackpad) up and down to increase and decrease exposure. I don't have to futz with opening the Exposure module or anything else, I hit the shortcut and adjust. This saves tons of time when I'm developing images. 
+
+What I do is select the first image in the Lighttable view, hit "**d**" to enter darkroom mode, then I hold down **shift** and **e** and scroll up and down to adjust the exposure to a level where I can tell what's going on in the image. When I have it where I want it, I hit **shift + k** to move to the next image, and then repeat the process. Using this method I can run through a batch of images in a few minutes, lightening them up so I can see what's happening. I don't worry about getting the perfect exposure, just light enough to be able to cull them down to the "keepers".
+
+If you'd like to try this -- and I can't recommend the exposure shortcut enough, nothing sped up my workflow like that one -- here's how you set it up.
+
+Open the preferences pane again. Choose **Shortcuts** in the left menu and then click the little arrow to open the **processing modules** section and scroll down to **exposure**. Click the arrow next to **exposure** and then double-click on **exposure**. After you double-click, Darktable is waiting for you to define the keyboard shortcut. Hold down shift, press 'e' and scroll your mouse. Now look below and you should see a line like what's in this screenshot:
 
 <img src="images/2023/darktable40-exposure-shortcut.jpg" id="image-3852" class="picwide caption" />
 
-Hit escape to save and exit the preference. Yup, still weird, but now we're used to it. Next select an image, hit **d** to open it in Darktable view. Test your shortcut: hold down **Shift** and **e** and scroll up and down and your image should get lighter and darker. Awesome. If not, re-read the above. It took me hours to figure this out the first time I tried to set this up, so don't feel bad if it doesn't work right away. Re-read the above and try again. Remember Thoreau. Don't hurry.
+If you want to move between images with the shift j/k shortcuts you'll need to set those up too. The method is the same, the action is image back/image forward, which is under **views >> darkroom**. By default the shortcuts there are space (forward) and backspace (back), but I don't like training my brain to it backspace so I went for the Vim-style j/k. 
+
+Hit escape to save and exit preferences. Yup, still weird, but now we're used to it. Next select an image, hit **d** to open it in Darktable view. Test your shortcut: hold down **Shift** and **e** and scroll up and down and your image should get lighter and darker. Awesome. If not, re-read the above. It took me hours to figure this out the first time I tried to set this up, so don't feel bad if it doesn't work right away. Re-read the above and try again. Remember Thoreau. Don't hurry.
 
 ### Customizing Development Modules  {: #customize }
 
-Darktable adjustments are done in what are called modules, little tools that handle a certain type of adjustments, for example the exposure modules adjusts exposure, sets a black point and handles other things related to exposure. Darktable has enough of these little modules that I am overwhelmed by the full list even after using the app for eight years. When I counted just now I came up with 64 user-adjustable modules. That's a lot of options. Too many in fact. But you don't have to use all of them. 
+As you saw above when we tweaked the exposure, Darktable adjustments are done in what are called modules, little tools that handle a certain type of adjustments. If you open up the actual exposure modules on the right side of the screen you'll see that it adjusts exposure, sets a black point and handles other things related to exposure. Darktable has enough of these little modules that I am overwhelmed by the full list even after using the app for eight years. When I counted just now I came up with 64 user-adjustable modules. That's a lot of options. Too many in fact. But you don't have to use all of them. 
 
 Of those 64 modules I use 9 on a regular basis and another 6 occasionally. Why so many options? This is the nature of open source software to some extent. Anyone with an itch can write some code to scratch it, and if the core developers are okay with including it in the app, it ships. I rather like that, even if most of it gets in my way. There's an easy solution: I narrow down the modules considerably by customizing which ones I see.
 
@@ -80,7 +106,9 @@ If you'd like to do the same, here's what I suggest. These are the core modules
 - **Retouch** (fix spots)
 - **Rotate and Perspective**
 
-Then there are some others I use only occasionally but I like to have easy to get to, things like **denoise**, **chromatic aberrations**, and **LUT 3D** since I use a number of LUTs to speed up development. There are a couple others you can see in the screenshots below, but mostly I ignore the other 51 modules. To make them easier to ignore, I hide them. To customize which development modules are shown, click the hamburger menu at the top of the modules section (which is on the right side of the screen in darktable mode) and select **Manage presets**.
+Then there are some others I use only occasionally but I like to have around, things like **denoise**, **chromatic aberrations**, and **LUT 3D** since I use a number of LUTs to speed up development. There are a couple others you can see in the screenshots below, but mostly I ignore the other 51 modules.
+
+To make them easier to ignore, I hide them. To customize which development modules are shown, click the hamburger menu at the top of the modules section (which is on the right side of the screen in darktable mode) and select **Manage presets**.
 
 That will bring up a huge screen with all the modules in columns. I suggest first clicking the preset drop down menu and selecting **workflow: scene-referred**. That gives you all the modules optimized for a scene-referred workflow. It's not important to understand what that means, but if you'll recall, we set up Darktable to apply the scene-referred presets when we import new images. This continues using that same workflow. We want to use those modules, but not all of them, so select duplicate and give your new module layout a name. Now you can customize this layout. I start by deleting the quick access column completely because I don't need it, nor do I find it quick. There's a checkmark at the top of the screen to disable it.
 
@@ -93,5 +121,3 @@ When you have things set up that way hit... wait for it... escape to save your c
 ### Example Edits (Video)  {: #example }
 
 Okay, you now have Darktable set up just like I do. This may or may not end up suiting you, but for now it gives you place to start. To show you how I work within this setup, check out the video below and then you can jump to the next article in this series, which covers what each module does and how I use them.
-
-
diff --git a/scratch.txt b/scratch.txt
index 7a4d31a..e613cfc 100644
--- a/scratch.txt
+++ b/scratch.txt
@@ -256,68 +256,86 @@ control + s to apply lxf sharp
 
 alt + - zoom out (custom)
 alt + = zoom in (custom)
+0-5 rate pics
 
+## Winter Storm
 
-## Repair Fail
+The afternoon of the day we decided to leave the Jeep behind a ranger stopped by to tell us they were closing the campground the next day due to a large storm front that was headed our way. Winds were expected to be in the 50 MPD range, with gust even higher. We've sat out a storm with [winds like that in New Mexico](https://luxagraf.net/jrnl/2018/01/eastbound-down). It wasn't fun, but we're still here. But that wasn't an option this time. Fortunately we were planning to leave the next day anyway.
 
-One of the most underappreciated, least talked about aspects of repair is the cultural hierarchy within that world. You have to earn your way to the top of it. Experts in repair are experts because they have done it, not because they think they can do it. There's no way to fake expertise, especially in car repair.
+We crammed all the backpacking gear and misc stuff from the Jeep in the back of the bus and hit the road the next morning. We cut inland and headed south for somewhere to sit out the storm. Driving the bus in the rain sucks and I wasn't about to do it with everyone on board.
 
-To really understand all the way down is to have a total cognitive understanding of the thing, from top to bottom that stands in stark contrast to the dependency of consumer culture. To get that is not easy. It is hard one. It is competitive.
+I also wasn't crazy about camping anywhere with pine trees when the forecast was for days of soaking rain followed up by high winds. Unfortunately nearly every campground on the Carolina coast is full of pines and oaks. I've seen too many trees come down in too many campgrounds to risk it when I don't have to. We found a hotel south of Wilmington and booked two nights.
 
-The early drafts of my Wired article on the bus had a lot more about this, but they were cut out during the edit process, which was my only frustration with that piece. I thought, and continue to think, that it's is very important to acknowledge that skills like repairing cars are earned through experience. There is no other way.
+The storm came on slowly. The first morning not much happened. I decided we probably had time to check out the nearby battleship North Carolina before the brunt of it hit us. The kids and I grabbed an Uber over to the battleship. We had the place to ourselves, which was fun. We wandered around below decks for a couple hours, getting hopelessly lost a couple of times, but having fun nonetheless. 
 
-When you start trying to fix things, you suck at it. There is a steep learning curve and you will fail. You will fail over and over until you learn. I find this dynamic interesting because those are two things I truly dislike -- failure and asking for help.
+By the time we came back out the parking lot was starting to flood and I was a little worried about getting a ride back. It took a bit, but eventually we found someone as nutty as us and made it back to the hotel safe and sound.
 
-I hate asking for help more than I hate failure so for me, learning to repair anything is a trial and error and error and error and error and error and give-up-and-ask-for-help process. 
+I alternated between hanging out in the hotel, taking the kids to the indoor pool, and checking on the bus. Just to the south of us North Myrtle beach took a beating, and up to the north of us Wilmington flooded. The outer banks had plenty of overwashed roads and high winds as well, but nothing nearly as bad as had been predicted. Curiously, where we were, other than a good steady rain for 24 hours, nothing much happened.
 
-This process is important though. You can't shortcut it. You need those moments of crushing failure and ineptitude. Otherwise your sense of yourself can outstrip what you're capable of, which is usually referred to as "having an ego." Or worse that self-image becomes so fragile you avoid situations that might force you to alter it, and when it is inevitably punctured you go all to pieces, which is worse than ego, no ego.
+The next day we hit the road again bound for Edisto. It was a slow drive through Charleston traffic, but we made it.
 
-Suck early, suck often. 
+Two days later Elliott turned nine.
 
-It's one thing to understand that intellectually. Its another to live the experience of failure.
 
-About two weeks into our stay in the outer banks the Jeep started acting funny. There was no definitive thing I could put my finger on, just an intuition that something was wrong inside the engine. Deep inside the engine according to my hunch. I did what anyone would do; I ignored it. 
 
-Until it became audible. Thunk thunk thunk when I accelerated. For a long time there had been a tapping sound that I somehow instinctively knew was a bent rod. Despite two mechanics telling me it wasn't. I took off the valve covers and sure enough, there was a bent rod. But that wasn't all, I ran the engine with the covers off and realized one of the exhaust rods was no longer lifting the tappet. This was on one of the two cylinders that always had slightly sooty spark plugs when I check them, so far it all made sense. I ordered some rods and some new lifters. 
 
-Unfortunately the heads on the AMC 360 engine do not allow you to extract the lifters. I had to pull the intake manifold off. I didn't want to do that at a campsite in the sand dunes so I rented a storage unit to work on it and had it towed up. 
 
-It took me two days to unhook everything and get the intake manifold off and the passenger side head. There was an oil leak toward the rear of the engine I thought maybe the head gasket was bad. It turned out I was wrong. Fail number one, but that one was minor, just a wasted day worth of work and $40 for a new head gasket. No biggie, I put the head back together and torqued it down.
+## Repair Fail
+
+One of the most underappreciated, least talked about aspects of repair is the hierarchy. There are repair wizards and there are newbies and there are the rest of us, somewhere between those two poles. This hierarchy of skill and experience requires that you earn your way to the top. Experts in repair are experts because they have done it, not because they think they can do it, or they say they can do it. There's no way to fake expertise in car repair. The thing either starts or it doesn't.
+
+It's a long road to expert. The more experience you gain, as you work your way up that hierarchy, the more you see the summit recede in front of you. You start to know how much you don't know. It's one thing to be able to do basic things like [replace a head gasket](https://luxagraf.net/jrnl/2022/10/going-down-swinging), it's a whole other thing to be able to listen to an engine and know a head gasket needs replacing. The latter is a kind of total understanding of the system that takes years, possibly decades to obtain.
+
+<img src="images/2023/jeep.jpg" id="image-3871" class="picwide" />
+
+To really understand a system all the way from top to bottom is to hold a total cognitive model of the thing in your mind and be able to access it intuitively. To get that is a hard won process with a steep learning curve. You will fail. You will fail over and over until you learn. I find this dynamic interesting because those are two things I truly dislike -- failure and asking for help. Both are essential if you want to repair things.
 
-I'd spent three days now though, hanging out alone in a storage unit, talking to my GoPro since I recorded everything. Still, I was optimistic, I was having fun. We weren't due to leave for another three days. I had time. Then the parts got delayed. I spent a day thinking about all the other things I could be doing. Everything has opportunity costs. I didn't get to see Val as much as I wanted. I didn't even really see Corrinne or the kids much for the better part of a week. I was back and forth between the storage unit, the mailbox to check on parts, and various parts stores. Still, I was optimistic.
+I hate asking for help more than I hate failure, so for me, learning to repair anything is a trial and error and error and error and error and error and give-up-and-ask-for-help process. 
 
-I pulled out the lifters. The one that wasn't lifting was worn down a good 3/16th of an inch. It was then that I realized my original hunch was right, the problem was deeper, I was treating symptoms. The nagging suspicion that I was out of my depth and just plain wrong began to set in. This is when the thoughts about opportunity costs started to creep in more frequently. Long before I ever did any repairs I rationalized not doing them by thinking that I could earn more money working however many hours I'd be working on the car, so it made more sense to pay someone else. I'll stick to working, they can stick to repairing. But that's just a rationalization. I didn't spend that saved time working. I did got knows what with it. 
+This process is important. You can't shortcut it. You need those moments of crushing failure and ineptitude. Otherwise your sense of yourself can outstrip what you're capable of, which is usually referred to as "having an ego." Or worse that self-image becomes so fragile you avoid situations that might force you to alter it, and when it is inevitably punctured you go all to pieces, which is worse than ego -- no ego.
+
+Fail early, fail often. 
+
+Still, it's one thing to understand this process intellectually. It's another to live it.
+
+<img src="images/2023/2023-11-29_125854_oregon-inlet.jpg" id="image-3872" class="picwide" />
+
+About two weeks into our stay in the outer banks the Jeep started acting funny. There was no definitive thing I could put my finger on, just an intuition that something was wrong inside the engine. Deep inside the engine according to my hunch. I did what anyone would do. I ignored it. Until one day it became audible on the way home from the grocery store. Thunk thunk thunk when I accelerated. 
+
+For a long time there had been a tapping sound that I somehow instinctively knew was a bent rod. Despite two mechanics telling me it wasn't. I took off the valve covers and sure enough, there was a bent rod. But that wasn't all, I ran the engine with the covers off and realized one of the exhaust rods was no longer lifting the tappet. This was on one of the two cylinders that always had slightly sooty spark plugs when I checked them. So far it all made sense. I ordered some rods and some new lifters. 
+
+Unfortunately the heads on the AMC 360 engine do not allow you to extract the lifters. I had to pull the intake manifold off. I didn't want to do that at a campsite in the sand dunes so I rented a storage unit to work on it and had it towed up. 
 
-I started to think about that from the opposite direction there. I started to think, you know what, I think I am done with this. This isn't the way I want to spend my time. My family's time. When I am gone working on the car that means Corrinne has to take care of the kids, and I don't get to see any of them. At some point -- and I am honestly not sure what that point is sometimes -- that trade off is no longer worth it. I tried to quanitfy this someone. What's the cut off? I spent 8 hours trying to fix it and then punt? 16 hours? I finally concluded that it's not a quantifiable thing. But there is a point at which it is not worth the time.
+It took me two days to unhook everything and get the intake manifold off. I pulled out the lifter in question. The bottom of it, which rides the cam lobe, was worn down a good 3/16th of an inch. It was then that I realized my original hunch was right, the problem was deeper, I was treating symptoms. The nagging suspicion that I was out of my depth and plain wrong began to set in. 
 
-Then there's the time pressure from the need to move. The outer banks was getting colder every day. We need to be in Edisto for Christmas, we're supposed to spend January on the Georgia coast, all of these things felt like the might be slipping away. 
+Since I was waiting on new lifters I thought I might as well take off the passenger's side head. The Jeep had always leaked oil toward the rear of the engine on that side. It was almost impossible to see where the leak was coming from, but I thought maybe the head gasket was bad. It turned out I was wrong. Fail number one, but that one was minor, a wasted morning and $40 for a new head gasket. I put the head back on and torqued it down.
 
-Then there's the bus. The exhaust manifold had cracked and I needed to replace that, which was just a quick job once I had the new manifold, but it still needed to be done. If I gave up on the Jeep would it really matter, I still look after the bus after all? But the Jeep is by far the most fun car I've ever driven, I hate to give up on it. 
+At that point I'd spent the better part of three days hanging out alone in a storage unit, talking to my GoPro as I recorded everything I did. Still, I was optimistic, I was having fun. We weren't due to leave for another five days. I had time.
 
-I decided to put everything back together and see what happened.
+Then the parts got delayed. Thoughts about opportunity costs started to creep in. I spent a day thinking about all the other things I could be doing. Everything has opportunity costs. I could be playing with the kids in the dunes, visiting with friends, writing things I wanted to write. Instead I went back and forth between the storage unit, the mailbox to check on parts, and various parts stores. Still, I was optimistic.
 
-I put it back together, except for the valve covers, and started the engine. It turned over and oil started shooting out the rod end I'd replace. But not out of any other rods. That's when I know something else was wrong. I was out of my depth. I had failed. It hadn't even occurred to me that oil should have been shooting out of all the rods all the times I'd started it with the valve covers off. That should have been extremely messy and it never was, something else was wrong. My uncle suggested the oil pump was probably dead. Either way, I was out of time, we had to get moving if we were going to make Christmas down south.
+Long before I ever did any vehicle repairs I rationalized not doing them by saying that I could earn more money working the hours I'd be working on the vehicle, so it "made more sense" to pay someone else to do it. This kind of "sense" only really makes sense on a spreadsheet though. The truth is I was scared to try repairing anything because I didn't have a clue how to do it and knew I'd probably screw it up.
 
-I punted. I called the mechanic I'd almost called to begin with. He said he didn't have room for it on his lot and couldn't get to it until after the holidays. Damn. I called some other mechanics, none of whom really grabbed me but I had to do something. I settled on one, called a tow truck and sat down to wait for it. The original mechanic called me back. He said he'd make room, bring it on by. I took that as a sign, so I did. And that's where it sits today.
+I started to think about that rationalization from the opposite direction though -- does it make sense to spend this much time working on a vehicle when what I really want to do is enjoy a warm day with my family or taking pictures of the dunes at sunrise?
 
-I took everything out of it, somehow found room for it in the bus and we hit the road with everyone in the bus, something we haven't done in years.
+One day I was sitting in the storage unit drinking coffee and I realized, I am done with this. This isn't the way I want to spend my time, my family's time. The Jeep is an incredible vehicle and I love it. If we lived in a house and I could work on it when I felt like it, it'd be perfect. But that's not how it works on the road. There's the added pressure of time, the need to move on. The outer banks was getting colder every day. We were waking up to frost on the windows and clouds of breath in the air. We needed to be in Edisto for Christmas. We're supposed to spend January on the Georgia coast. All of these things felt like they might be slipping away, and for what? So we could drive the Jeep? Is that what we're doing here? 
 
+And yet, the Jeep is by far the best car I've ever driven. It is an absolute joy when it's running well. The kids love it. We all love it. I hated to give up on it. 
 
+The lifters finally arrived and I put everything back together. I left the valve covers off so I could make sure the new lifter was working. The kids came with me that day, and I let my daughter start it so I could watch the engine. It turned over and caught. But the thunking noise was still there. And that was when I realized oil was only coming out the rod that I'd replaced. Not out of any other rods. That's when I knew something else was wrong. I was out of my depth. I had failed. It hadn't even occurred to me that oil should have been shooting out of all the rods all the times I'd started it with the valve covers off. That should have been extremely messy and it never was, something else was wrong. My uncle suggested the oil pump was probably dead. Either way, I was out of time, we had to get moving if we were going to make Christmas down south.
 
+I punted. I called the mechanic I'd almost called to begin with. He said he didn't have room for it on his lot and couldn't get to it until after the holidays. Damn. I called some other mechanics, none of whom really grabbed me but I had to do something. I settled on one, called a tow truck, and sat down to wait for it. The original mechanic called me back. He said he'd make room, bring it on by. I took that as a sign, redirected the tow truck and dropped it off. 
 
-Still, I prefer that to outsourcing things. 
+I took everything out of it, somehow found room for it in the bus and we hit the road with everyone in the bus, something we haven't done in years. It's fun to travel that way, but not terribly practical for us right now.
 
+A few days later the mechanic called with bad news. The engine was a mess, the cam was blown and half a dozen other things had gone wrong. It needed to be completely rebuilt. Corrinne and I talked. Then we talked some more. We love the Jeep, but in the end, it was just too much to keep going with our life on the road. One engine to repair is enough. We decided to move on and put it up for sale. I'd like to see someone else rebuild it. It's a great car. But it's not for us right now. I'll miss the Jeep, but it's time to get back to what we do.
 
 
 
 
-On November 16th I came home from another day on the boat and said to Ali, “I think I’m done.” That’s all it really took—a decision had finally been reached somewhere on the Sabalo Centro bus between the marina and Old Town.
 
-“What do you mean?” she asked.
 
-“With boats. I think I’m done. This just isn’t the way I want to spend my time. Our time.” This had been in the back of my mind for months, but for some reason that day I was ready to accept it. The stupid thing is, the only reason I’d been having a hard time coming to that decision in the first place, is because I really loved our kids’ rooms. I loved how cosy and warm they were and how everything a child could ever want was within arms reach. For the first time in many many years I’d gotten sentimental over an inanimate object.
 
-We talked. And we talked. We talked about how our cruising plans were actually pretty stupid. Cruising to places in order to get off the boat. That’s stupid. Boats are meant to be sailed and lived on, not to be used as an alternative to a car. And while we enjoyed cruising Mexico, we didn’t enjoy the part-time-ness of it. Being a part-time cruiser is far more difficult than being a full-time cruiser. It’s hard work to move on and off and on and off. And it’s a terrible waste of money.