archived two posts and added some changes to the pages doc

4 files changed, 111 insertions, 90 deletions

diff --git a/jrnl/2024-04-10_april-white.txt b/jrnl/2024-04-10_april-white.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..09e03b0
--- /dev/null
+++ b/jrnl/2024-04-10_april-white.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,38 @@
+The mild winter of 2023-2024 brought very little snow to Wisconsin. We watched the weather for months, waiting for more snow to fall but it never did. Last year we arrived in Washburn after Memorial Day and there were still patches of snow in the deep shade of the woods. This year we headed up April 1.
+
+So far as I have been able to discover, there is only one Wisconsin state park that opens this early and as luck would have it, it's right where we wanted to be to visit some friends. We headed north from [Ferne Clyffe](https://luxagraf.net/jrnl/2024/03/illinois-cliffs), stopped off for a night in Rockford, and made it up to Hartman Creek State Park the day it opened. 
+
+The forecast called for some rain that afternoon, but on the drive in I hit a few snow flurries and the temperature dropped to unpleasant levels for driving the bus (the heater in the bus has never worked). The last few miles the "rain" alternated between sleet and snow, and by the time we pulled into camp it was steady snow. 
+
+<img src="images/2025/2024-04-01_162338_hartman-creek.jpg" id="image-4065" class="picwide" />
+
+This was only the second time we've hit snow in our travels, though we've had plenty of days at or below freezing. But none of us were ready for ten inches of snow, which is what we got at Hartman Creek. The snow didn't let up much in the night and was back at the next morning, continuing all through the day.
+
+<img src="images/2025/2024-04-01_161713_hartman-creek.jpg" id="image-4064" class="picwide" />
+
+We had the campground to ourselves. Two other people had brought out their rigs, but they seemed to be locals claiming a spot. They left their rigs and went (I assume) home. It was just us and the snow.
+
+<img src="images/2025/2024-04-01_163339_hartman-creek.jpg" id="image-4066" class="picwide" />
+
+I forgot how utter silent the world is when it snows. Even the simple act of walking seems an unforgivable intrusion on the silence.
+
+<div class="self-embed-container embedwide">
+	<video poster="https://luxagraf.net/media/images/videos/2024/spring-snow-fall-poster.jpg" controls="true" loop="false" preload="auto" id="28" class="vidautovid">
+		<source src="https://luxagraf.net/media/images/videos/2024/Spring_Snow_Fall.webm" type="video/webm">
+		<source src="https://luxagraf.net/media/images/videos/2024/Spring_Snow_Fall.mp4" type="video/mp4">
+		Your browser does not support video playback via HTML5.
+	</video>
+</div>
+
+I have no way to photograph it, but we put the snow under the loupes to see the fractal patterns, the tiny geometric order scattered about in the chaos of wind, often blowing out of my hand before I could even focus on it. 
+
+The heavy wet snows of spring never last long.Gloriously clear, much warmer, days came sweeping though just days later.
+
+<img src="images/2025/2024-04-05_150309_hartman-creek.jpg" id="image-4067" class="picwide" />
+<img src="images/2025/2024-04-08_072914_hartman-creek.jpg" id="image-4068" class="picwide" />
+
+Once again we'd reset the seasonal clock, the trees still bare, buds present, but tightly sealed up yet. 
+
+<img src="images/2025/2024-04-25_143728_hartman-creek.jpg" id="image-4069" class="picwide" />
+
+It was time to keep moving north. We had one final drive, to Washburn, where we'd once again spend the summer. We packed up, said see you later to our friends, and headed on down the road, ever northward.
diff --git a/jrnl/2024-12-11_snow.txt b/jrnl/2024-12-11_snow.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..10f9dff
--- /dev/null
+++ b/jrnl/2024-12-11_snow.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,34 @@
+Snow brings a stillness to the world. Life hides away, burrowed under, tucked in. Sound is muted, lost in the hush of falling flakes. Only the soft brush of wind through the pines.
+
+I would like to say that Winter's first snow dumped a substantive number of feet, but it did not. It dumped a few inches. Not much, but it is something. An imitation of winter. It may well be that that's all winter is anymore, an imitation of what once was. Things are always changing, not always in the way we want. Only the future knows for sure, but I do feel a certain foreboding of doom for the person I saw driving the car with the bumper sticker "F**k Summer."
+
+<img src="images/2025/2024-12-14_081623_lake-ice.jpg" id="image-4079" class="picwide" />
+<img src="images/2025/2024-12-01_164240-2_first-snow.jpg" id="image-4072" class="picwide" />
+<img src="images/2025/2024-12-01_160624_first-snow.jpg" id="image-4070" class="picwide" />
+
+For the most part, this is why we are here, to experience the winter, which in my family was supposed to be a synonym for snow. Alas Wisconsin winter is also a synonym for gray, sunless, and cold, with or without snow.
+
+This is part of why this world needs snow. Snow bathes the world in white, reflecting and multiplying the scant light on gray days. You need the snow to overcome the gray skies.
+
+Light or no, the kids have done their best to get out and enjoy what little snow we've had.
+
+<img src="images/2025/2024-12-13_130026_lake-ice.jpg" id="image-4077" class="picwide" />
+<img src="images/2025/2024-12-15_092948_lake-ice.jpg" id="image-4080" class="picwide" />
+
+Snow is also a buffer against the wind and cold for plants and animals. And us. Plenty more pipes freezing without a blanket of snow to insulate the ground from the worst of the cold. The frost here can reach many feet down into the soil by midwinter. 
+
+More snow on the ground lingers longer in spring, insulating the soil, keeping it warmer longer through march freezes. Without it, it takes longer for seeds to germinate, roots to come to life, sap to thaw.
+
+<img src="images/2025/2024-12-01_164116-2_first-snow.jpg" id="image-4071" class="picwide" />
+<img src="images/2025/2024-12-12_091433_lake-ice.jpg" id="image-4075" class="picwide" />
+<img src="images/2025/2024-12-12_091549_lake-ice.jpg" id="image-4076" class="picwide" />
+<img src="images/2025/2024-12-13_131616_lake-ice.jpg" id="image-4078" class="picwide" />
+
+There have been a couple of sunny days. One of them saw flocks of swans swimming by our beach. Further up the bay things get shallower and the water is already covered in ice and snow, but water still flows free in front of our cabin, which brings the bird life to us. Swans, Goldeneyes, Ravens, and Bald Eagles are all frequently around on the lake, along with Chickadees in the woods.
+
+<img src="images/2025/2024-12-12_091206_lake-ice.jpg" id="image-4074" class="picwide" />
+<img src="images/2025/2024-12-05_103945_lake-ice.jpg" id="image-4073" class="picwide" />
+
+The ice on the shore in the photo above lasted a few days, but as of this writing, the lake in front of us remains ice-free. A few days after the first snow it warmed up again and a hard rain washed it all away. Around Christmas it turned cold again and dropped a few more inches of snow, but once again it warmed up and the snow disappeared. 
+
+As I write this winter is well underway and there is still little more than a light dusting of snow on the ground, about the same amount of snow we got [a few years ago in South Carolina](https://luxagraf.net/jrnl/2022/02/ice-storm). I am still hoping for one good blizzard, but we'll see.
diff --git a/pages.txt b/pages.txt
index d6efbe5..acb2552 100644
--- a/pages.txt
+++ b/pages.txt
@@ -110,43 +110,23 @@ That's what I try to do. I take my time. If a technology is good today, it'll be
 
 ## Writing
 
-### Notebook and Pen, Pencil and Paper
+### Notebook and Pen, Pencil
 
 My primary "device" is my notebook. I have two notebooks. One is called a Traveller's notebook. It's refillable. The other is smaller and it lives in my pocket at all times and is filled with illegible scribbles that I attempt to decipher later. This one I mainly write in pencil, and I stick post-it notes into the actual notebook so that I can then move the post-it notes to the larger notebook where I write them again. This larger notebook is a mix of notes and sketches, as well as a sort of captain's log, though I don't write in with the kind regularity real captains do. Or that I imagine captains do.
 
-I used to be picky about pens, I had a couple of fancy ones, but I lost them and learned my lesson. I sat down and forced myself to use basic cheap, black ink, Bic-style ballpoint pens until they no longer irritated me. And you know what? Now I love them, and that's all I use -- any ballpoint pen. Ballpoint because it runs less when it gets wet, which, given how I live, tends to happen. The truth though is that I usually write with a pencils because I like to erase things. I use a Pentel P209 with .9mm lead because the heavier lead doesn't break. These are easy to find at any office supply store.
+I usually write with a pencils because I like to erase things. I use a Pentel P209 with .9mm lead because the heavier lead doesn't break. These are easy to find at any office supply store.
 
-### Laptop
-
-I love Thinkpads and have used a few. Currently I have a Lenovo T14 gen 1, which I got off eBay for $455. It runs Linux because everything else sucks a lot more than Linux. Which isn't too say that I love Linux. It could use some work too. But it sucks a whole lot less than the rest. I run Arch Linux, which I have [written about elsewhere](/src/why-i-switched-arch-linux). I was also interviewed on the site [Linux Rig](https://linuxrig.com/2018/11/28/the-linux-setup-scott-gilbertson-writer/), which has some more details on how and why I use Linux.
+I type on a Dell XPS laptop running Arch Linux, which I have [written about elsewhere](/src/why-i-switched-arch-linux). I was also interviewed on the site [Linux Rig](https://linuxrig.com/2018/11/28/the-linux-setup-scott-gilbertson-writer/), which has some more details on how and why I use Linux.
 
 ## Photos
 
 ### Camera
 
-I use a Sony A7Rii. It's a full frame mirrorless camera. The main appeal for me was that you can adapt legacy lenses -- AKA, manual focus lenses from back in the day -- and use them at the their proper focal length. Without the old lenses I find the Sony's output to be a little digital for my tastes. If I wasn't using old lenses I'd get the Fujifilm X-Pro 2 and the first gen 23mm f/1.4 lens.
-
-I also have a Nikon FE2 film camera with either Tri-X or T-Max 3200 in it, and a Zeiss Ikon Nettar 518/16, a 6x6 medium format camera from the 1950s (also usually loaded with Tri-X).
-
-### Lenses
-
-All of my lenses are old and manual focus, which I prefer to autofocus lenses. I am not a sports or wildlife photographer so I have no real need for autofocus. Neither autofocus nor perfect edge to edge sharpness are things I want in a lens. I want a lens that reliable produces what I see in my mind.
-
-One fringe benefit of honing your manual focus skills[^1] is that you open a door to world filled with amazing cheap lenses. I have shot Canon, Minolta, Olympus, Nikon, Zeiss, Hexanon, Tokina, and several weird Russian Zeiss clones. 
+I use a Sony A7RII. 95 percent of the time I have a Voitlander 40mm f/1.2 lens on it. I also have a Sony 16-35mm with autofocus that I use mainly for video, and I have an old manual focus Nikon 85mm f/2.8 lens that I hardly ever use, but is ostensibly my portrait lens. For the portraits I never take.
 
-These days I have whittled my collection down to these lenses:
+I also have a Nikon FE2 loaded with either Tri-X or T-Max 3200. I don't use it much because shooting and developing film has become ridiculously expensive, but I do love it. 
 
-* Nikon 50mm f/1.4
-* Nikon 28mm f/2.8
-* Nikon 20mm f/4
-
-I keep the 50mm on there about 80 percent of the time, with the 28mm for wide scenes, and the 20mm for inside [the bus](https://luxagraf.net/1969-dodge-travco-motorhome). I also have a Fujifilm X70 camera for times when the DSLR is too much. 
-
-## Video
-
-In addition to the photo gear above, which I also use for video, I have GoPro Hero 12. I mostly use it while driving the bus to make movies like this: *[Notes From the Road](https://luxagraf.net/jrnl/2023/05/notes-from-the-road)*.
-
-## Audio
+I also have a couple action cameras that I use for video.
 
 I like to record ambient sound. I use an Olympus LS-10 recorder, which has the lowest noise floor I can afford (it was $100 on eBay). I use a couple of microphones I made myself and occasionally a wireless Rode mic.
 
@@ -154,8 +134,6 @@ I like to record ambient sound. I use an Olympus LS-10 recorder, which has the l
 
 And there you have it. I am always looking for ways to get by with less, but after years of getting rid of stuff, I think I have reached something close to ideal.
 
-[^1]: If you've never shot without autofocus don't try it on a modern lens. Most modern focusing rings are garbage because they're not meant to be used. Some Fujifilm lenses are an exception to that rule, but by and large don't do it. Get an old lens, something under $50, and teach yourself [zone focusing](https://www.ilfordphoto.com/zone-focusing/), learn how to expose, and just practice, practice, practice. Practice relentlessly and eventually you'll get there.
-
 # About Luxagraf
 
 url: /about
diff --git a/scratch.txt b/scratch.txt
index 95659ee..c5a04fc 100644
--- a/scratch.txt
+++ b/scratch.txt
@@ -8,64 +8,71 @@ every essay needs a story to hang it on. And an audio/visual podcast of it.
 
 ---
 
-"outsourcing your daily needs tends to lead to outsourcing your beliefs." 
+I have found that I’m able to see much more clearly when I’m doing the least. Sometimes, the irony is, what I see more clearly becomes things I want, or perhaps need to do. Those are the least interesting moments though. 
 
-Maybe. Because it breeds dependency? It does. Which then leads to being dependant for ideas, for values. This is what any power structure must do to gain power, take it from you. There is a fixed amount of power in this world. for one person to have more, others must have less. 
+an elusive “sense of fullness” we get once in a while, based on fleeting experiences of life as “fuller, richer, deeper, more worthwhile, more admirable, more what it should be.” Such moments are difficult to access, but supremely important because they give us indications that there is an objective reality, independent of ourselves, that is morally substantive in the sense that is shot through with significance. Its significance for me is no merely idiosyncratic response of my own, nor is it an artefact of some evolutionary process that tricks me into caring about things as a device for propagating the species. Rather, the felt significance of the world is an apt and appropriate response to the fact that there is something transcendent into which I fit, or must fit myself. 
 
-dry leaves whispered, 
+---
 
 
+The whole idea of "being present" has always seemed ridiculous to me. What does that even mean? Trying sitting and actually being "present" you can chase this goal for years and in the end what do you have? I have never seen anyone improve their lives much by "being present." In fact I've seen some people derail their lives pretty well chasing that idea by one means or another.
 
+Being conscious is the key to seeing. By being aware of what is around us, and then noticing that awareness, we allow our vision and perception to grow. It’s very difficult to do this on a regular basis. Stillness is a life practice. At times I will catch myself unconsciously spinning my wheels, and then consciously try to center myself and observe.
 
-Snow bathes the world in white, reflecting and multiplying the scant light on gray days. The world feels clean, and smooth dressed in snow. At least where we are, out in nature. Snow is a mess in the city.
 
+Photographs are one of mankind’s most profound expressions of stillness. They allow us the ability to hold time in our hands and facilitate a merging with time that exists in no other form.
 
+---
 
-## The Good Life
-I got all I ever wanted
+One of the biggest problems I see with our current education system is one that I rarely see questioned. That is, the segregating of children by age. With very little opportunity to enteract with children both younger and older than them, kids have no slightly older, attainable role models in older kids, and no chance to provide the same for children younger than themselves. homeschool kids do not have this and in fact most that we've encountered are like my kids, will to play with kids much younger or older. It's been my observation that kids who've grown up in situations where they had both older and younger kids around day in and day out are better at handling conflict and resolving it rather than hiding from it.
 
+Si comprehendis, non est Deus -- If you understand it is not God - augustine
 
+dry leaves whispered, 
 
-The whole idea of "being present" has always seemed ridiculous to me. What does that even mean? Trying sitting and actually being "present" you can chase this goal for years and in the end what do you have? I have never seen anyone improve their lives much by "being present." In fact I've seen some people derail their lives pretty well chasing that idea by one means or another.
+Technology was part of the larger culture. The emphasis of the ancient world and early Christianity was ways in which technology could make a better person or bring them closer to god, temple architecture, painting techniques, etc.
 
+truth is not something we make, it is something that is already there, that we discover. Or that we are guided to by the archangels in william grey's terms.
 
-doing things for their own sake, rather than as a means to something.
+Seminar method meaning the book is the lecture, you do that on your own, in your room, with the author, and then you come together in a small group and discuss.
+teaching via the seminar method is imperfect, you may never get to the point that you thought there was, but the questions are always your own, you are not just imbibing something pre-digested, you're wrestling with it yourself.
 
+## Outsourcing
 
-Yeah, I mean I don't let them do things I think would be an outright bad
-idea, but those are pretty rare. I try to err on the side of trying
-things and having them not work out than the side of not trying. But
-then, you don't want too many failures without some successes. But what
-I like about what we've done so far is that there's been very little
-"education" that isn't hands on. That's part of the reason we stayed the
-winter, you never know what winter is until you live through it. They
-may not know the name of every tree in the forest, but they have been in
-the forest and know what it's like.
 
 
+I remember when I read the 4 Hour Work Week back in 2006 or so. I was freshly back from traveling Southeast Asia, and crashing on a friend's couch. To stay out of her way, I'd go across the street to a little bookstore in Venice Beach and read whatever was on the rack. At some point the 4 Hour Work Week made its appearance and, I mean, who doesn't want a 4-hour work week? I read it, and a lot of it resonated with me. Most of its ideas I'd already either heard elsewhere (especially, H.D. Thoreau, Rolf Potts, and Edward Hasbrouck), but it synthesized these ideas into a vision that was a bit different. I bought it.
 
+If you haven't ever read it, the basic premise is, you can arrange your life around having free time instead of having a career. Money is a tool, don't waste your whole life trying to get more or it. Remember to live. Etc. Like most pop culture books it's a clever mix of genuinely good ideas, cherry-picked data, with a nice helping of rehashed 1930s New Thought ideas sprinkled on top. That might sound dismissive, but I don't mean it to be. I don't think Tim Ferriss was trying top deceive anyone the way say, the author the The Secret is doing[^1]. Ferriss has some really good ideas I had not heard before, especially for dealing with email and problematic clients, which as anyone who has run their own business can tell you are both a time and soul suck.
 
-collilary: everyone worries about their productivity but it's rare I hear anyone talk about what they're producing.
+Much as I liked the 4 Hour Work Week, there was one idea that always struck me as a bad idea: outsourcing. 
 
 
+Be cautious what you outsource.
+
+"outsourcing your daily needs tends to lead to outsourcing your beliefs." 
+
+Maybe. Because it breeds dependency? It does. Which then leads to being dependant for ideas, for values. This is what any power structure must do to gain power, take it from you. There is a fixed amount of power in this world. for one person to have more, others must have less. 
+
+[^1]: I have never read The Secret, but I have read a ton of New Thought books, enough to know that the secret is taking those ideas, removing all the hard work, and telling you if you want it bad enough you'll get it. Spoiler alert: you won't.
 
-# Scratch
 
 
 
-## The Good Life
 
-I was recently talking with my editor about my decidedly low ambitions at work. Writers often have trajectories. They start at small publications, write that one big story, then move to a larger publication, write that one big story, then move on to a larger publication, and so on. I have never had any interest in that. I've spent my entire writing "career" primarily at Wired. I've been writing for Wired in one form or another since 1999. In all that time Wired has never rejected a pitch[^1], why would I want to write for anyone else?
 
-I don't and never have felt the need to climb any ladders. At least not in a job. 
 
-But then later I was thinking, perhaps I am looking at this whole thing the wrong way. Perhaps I'm not that driven because I've already got everything I ever wanted.
 
-One of the great dangers of life is that we don't know what the good life looks like until it's in the rearview mirror.
+
+doing things for their own sake, rather than as a means to something.
+Corollary: everyone worries about their productivity but it's rare I hear anyone talk about what they're producing.
+
+
+
+# Scratch
 
 
 
-[^1]: That's not literally true, but it's close. Sometimes I pitch something that someone else is already doing, and sometimes I pitch something I know they don't want because it's in my contract to do so, but by and large I am fortunately to pretty much unlimited freedom. I mean, they let me write about how we have no oven and cook on waffle irons. 
 
 
 
@@ -128,34 +135,7 @@ Tamanous—that’s pronounced “tah-MAN-oh-oose,” by the way—is the guardi
 
 # Stories to Tell
 
-## April White
-
-The mild winter of 2023-2024 brought very little snow to Wisconsin. We watched the weather for months waiting for more snow to fall, but it never did. Last year we arrived after Memorial Day and there were still patches of snow in the deep shade of the wood. This year we headed up April 1.
-
-So far as I have been able to discover, there is only one Wisconsin state park that opens this early and as luck would have it, it's right where we wanted to be to visit some friends. We headed north from [Ferne Clyffe](https://luxagraf.net/jrnl/2024/03/illinois-cliffs), stopped off for a night in Rockford, and made it up to Hartman Creek State Park the day it opened. 
-
-The forecast called for some rain that afternoon, but on the drive in I hit a few snow flurries and the temperature dropped to unpleasant levels for driving the bus (the heater in the bus has never worked). The last few miles the "rain" alternated between sleet and snow, and by the time we pulled into camp it was steady snow. 
-
-This was only the second time we've hit snow in our travels, though we've had plenty of days at or below freezing. But none of us were ready for ten inches of snow, which is what we got at Hartman Creek. The snow didn't let up much in the night and was back at the next morning, continuing all through the day.
-
-We had the campground to ourselves. Two other people had brought out their rigs, but they seemed to be locals claiming a spot. They left their rigs and went (I assume) home. It was just us and the snow.
-
-I forgot how utter silent the world is when it snows. Even the simple act of walk seems an unforgivable intrusion on the silence.
-
-<div class="self-embed-container embedwide">
-	<video poster="https://luxagraf.net/media/images/videos/2024/spring-snow-fall-poster.jpg" controls="true" loop="false" preload="auto" id="28" class="vidautovid">
-		<source src="https://luxagraf.net/media/images/videos/2024/Spring_Snow_Fall.webm" type="video/webm">
-		<source src="https://luxagraf.net/media/images/videos/2024/Spring_Snow_Fall.mp4" type="video/mp4">
-		Your browser does not support video playback via HTML5.
-	</video>
-</div>
-
-I have no way to photograph it, but we put the snow under the loupes to see the fractal patterns, the tiny geometric order scattered about in the chaos of wind, often blowing out of my hand before I could even focus on it. I can't help thinking there's a lesson in that, but I'm not sure what it means.
-
-The heavy wet snows of spring never last long though and it was soon gone, leaving behind 
-
-
-
+## Intrinsic Value Vs Extrinsic 
 ## Fire Notes: Seeking the Sun
 
 People have forgotten how important the sun is. You can die from lack of sun. 
@@ -232,12 +212,6 @@ As I preferred some things to others, and especially valued my freedom, as I cou
 
 if we will live simply and wisely; as the pursuits of the simpler nations are still the sports of the more artificial. It is not necessary that a man should earn his living by the sweat of his brow, unless he sweats easier than I do.
 
-
-
-
-We sprinted across Florida in two quick drives over to the far end of the panhandle. We stopped in the middle at the Tallahassee Car Museum, I weird little museum that has a few campsites out front (not everything in Harvest Hosts is a farm)
-
-
 ## Spirit of Craft
 
 
@@ -392,9 +366,6 @@ https://www.vagabondjourney.com/you-cant-get-lost-anymore/
 
 
 
-## Programming for Intrinsic Value Vs Extrinsic 
-Or the difference between Linux culture and startup culture -- giving vs getting and how it shapes the final product.
-
 ## Carolina Wren
 I have so many Carolina wren stories it's hard to know where to start.