did some work on waiting post

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-November came and went. The ginko down the street went mustard yellow, the maples had a band year of blood red leaves. Even the oaks seemed brighter than usual. I watched all this between cleaning the house for showings, knocking off little items on the bus todo list and inadvertently teaching my son how to cook.
+November came and went. The ginko down the street buried the still green grass in a blanket of brilliant yellow. The maples at the park had a banner year of blood red leaves. Even the oaks seemed brighter than usual. 
+
+I watched it all, waiting.  We cleaned the house for showings, I knocked little items off the bus todo list and inadvertently taught my son to cook.
 
 The bus has a couch now, complete with convertible bunk bed. Okay, I still need to order the foam for the couch cushion and get the whole setup recovered, but I finally have a place to sleep at least. I've also finished up the kitchen, installed an entirely new propane system and slowly, meticulously sanded down the dash in preparation for a fresh coat of paint (or possible Gel coat, still undecided).
 
-My daughters have been helping cook since they were around two. However, because they spend so much time in their own world, they don't always want to help cook. Elliott on the other hand is sometime excluded from the world of his sisters and therefore spends more time in the kitchen then they do. In fact, just this morning he cooked our sausage for us. I put it in the pan and broke it up, but he did the rest and told me when it was done.,
+The long winter nights mean less working time in the bus though. I come in earlier and spend more time cooking than usual in the winter. And it's nearly bourbon bacon bark time. My daughters have been helping cook since they were around two. However, because they spend so much time in their own world, they don't always *want* to help cook. Elliott on the other hand is sometimes excluded from the world of his sisters and therefore spends more time in the kitchen then they do. 
+
+One night I pulled a chair up to the stove and let him help with some risotto. Now every meal he's in the kitchen, dragging his chair up to stove. "Me, cook." He's not quite two, but he does pretty well. In fact, just this morning he cooked our sausage for us. I put it in the pan and broke it up, but he did the rest and told me when it was done. 
 
+Naturally what their brother does my daughters must do too. So now I have all kinds of helpers in the kitchen. Unfortunately that means I have less to do. Which means more time to wait.
 
+I've never been a big fan of waiting. Waiting gets celebrated a lot, as if life deferred were somehow life gained, rather than what it actually is -- life lost. That deferral is the whole basis of modern industrial mythology, which can be summed up roughly as: work hard now for your future reward. This life approach underlies the basis of the dominant religions, economic systems and social structure of modern western life. And it's all a load of shit.
 
+The secret to getting yourself out of this sort of deferred life is realizing that there is no waiting. There is just existence you're not paying attention to. The world does not wait for spring, the world lives in winter until spring and knows that spring will not come any faster than Spring will come. 
 
+So we live in winter even when deep down we might wanting warmer weather.